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Bluff The Listener

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now it is time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

JARED WEBER: Hey, this is from Jared Weber (ph) from Cincinnati, Ohio.

SAGAL: Hey. How are things in Cincinnati, the Queen City, right?

WEBER: You know, she's sassy like a queen, so I think that's the one.

SAGAL: All right. That's great.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Jared. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Jared's topic.

BILL KURTIS: Have I Told You Lately that I Love You, Peter?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Not now, Bill.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We know the classic ways we keep our relationships together - date nights, counseling, not telling him about your piece on the side.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, we learned about a new way somebody is out there trying to save relationships. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one. You'll win our prize, Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

WEBER: Absolutely.

SAGAL: Then let's do it. First, let's hear from Bobcat Goldthwait.

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: The FurFest Pleasure Con is a gathering of furries that takes place in Northampton, Mass. At a furry convention, the attendees dress up in fursuits as sexy woodland and domestic animals and do what nature leads them to do.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: It's not uncommon seeing a fox in the bikini being chatted up by a moose in a thong...

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: ...Or a sexy wolf sharing a cocktail with a rabbit in a short skirt and knee-high socks. Whatever floats your boat. Or if this Noah's Ark is a-rocking, don't come a-knocking.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: But this year, the roleplaying Animal Kingdom is up in arms. Because of the anonymous nature of being in an animal suit, couples are not always hooking up with the right badger or hedgehog that they came with. After an alarming amount of confusion, the organizers came up with a solution. All furries attending the convention will be micro-chipped.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: This solve the problem until Michael Garrow (ph), 35, squirrel, stole the microchip out of another squirrel's costume in an effort to have sex with that squirrel's badger wife.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: Unfortunately, the wife caught on before Garrow's plan could work. She said, he didn't smell like my husband. Even in a costume, I can smell my husband's breath. And Garrow's breath smelled minty. No charges were filed, but Garrow was kicked out of the FurFest and disgraced.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Chipping furries at a convention to make sure who's who.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Your next story of keeping the magic alive comes from Roxanne Roberts.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: There's infidelity, and then there's the ultimate betrayal - the significant other who skips ahead on Netflix without you.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: You know the signs. You're watching "House Of Cards" or "Orange Is The New Black." And, suddenly, you can just tell that your partner has been binge-watching episodes.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Oh. Wow. He died. That's...

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: That's so unexpected.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Now U.K. ice cream brand Cornetto has a solution, commitment rings - wearable technology that connects to video streaming apps and prevents access to selected TV shows unless both rings are in the room, reports (unintelligible).

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

ROBERTS: The app recognizes signals from both rings and unblocks the shows kind of like the two keys required to launch a nuclear strike.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: The rings are aimed at tech-savvy teens, although 28 million people report cheating with Netflix, most while their partners are sleeping.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: The company hasn't ironed out all the technical sides of this, but its heart is in the right place. The campaign slogan is, Love Should Last Longer Than One Season.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Netflix purity rings that keep you from binge-watching shows without your partner. Your last story of conscious coupling comes from Maz Jobrani.

MAZ JOBRANI: If you're straight, you can meet someone using the app Tinder. If you're gay, there's Grindr. But if you're in a relationship, there's no app for you - until now. A company out of Seattle has designed a new app for couples looking to add excitement to their lives. The app is called You Again.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Using You Again, couples are encouraged to create profiles of who they would like to be, a sort of modern-day roleplaying. Then their significant other goes online and requests to meet this fictional version of their loved one. They set up a rendezvous, get to rediscover each other and hopefully get intimate. Tired of dating a boring doctor? Have him create a profile where he's an exotic dancer.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Sick of being married to a lawyer? Ask him to be Tarzan - whatever it takes to get this relationship kickstarted and going again. Some older couples with kids who have tried You Again have complained that it didn't work out quite how they planned. When my husband took on the role of Tarzan, we went on a two-hour date. The whole night, all he said was, you Jane. Me Tarzan.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Then we got home, and he did the Tarzan scream - you know, like (vocalizing).

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: All that did was wake up the kids.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Still, You Again claims to already have over 100,000 users since its launch in April of this year. Many of the users tend to be younger couples who actually have the time and energy to create fictional personas...

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: ...And play them out in the real world. Sadly, no matter how many times these couples pretend to hook up with someone else in a fantasy world, the next morning, they always wake up with the exact same person - every single morning.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Here are your choices.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Somebody has come up with a way to help couples stay couples. Is it, from Bobcat Goldthwait, microchips so that furries can find their mate at furry conventions, from Roxanne, Netflix purity rings that make sure you don't binge ahead without your partner watching with you, from Maz Jobrani, a dating app for people who no longer get to use dating apps because they're in a relationship. Which of these is the real story about, shall we say, a lover's aid in the news this week.

WEBER: As much as I wish it was the furry microchip, it's the Netflix commitment rings.

SAGAL: It is?

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Your choice, then, is Roxanne's story of the Netflix purity rings. Well, we spoke to someone who can bring you the truth.

SCOTT STUMP: To prevent Netflix cheating, where the couple will pick a show that they love to watch.

(APPLAUSE)

STUMP: When the rings aren't close by, the show will be blocked.

SAGAL: That was Scott Stump - he's an associate editor with today.com, and he's a contributor for NBC News - talking about the Netflix rings. Congratulations. You were right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: You have won a point for Roxanne. But more importantly, you have won our prize, the voice of Carl Kasell spoiling the new season of "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There you are. Congratulations. And thanks for playing.

WEBER: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF JOHNNY CASH SONG, "RING OF FIRE")

SAGAL: When we be come back, Aubrey Plaza of "Parks And Recreation" fame joins us to play Not My Job and more shenanigans from our panel. That's all coming up on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME From NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.